Different people come with different takes on humor and engineers are no exception. While everyone can enjoy a good joke, there are always a few in-group jokes specifically tailored to a group of people that unfortunately not many other people will get Anyone can build a bridge. It takes an engineer to just barely build a bridge. Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through the country side when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician were out game hunting. The engineer spied a target in the distance, so they got a little closer to get a better shot. Let me try” insisted the physicist, who then proceeded to miss by three metres to the right. Why did the engineer cross the road?
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Joke A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said “this is pointless” and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.
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Archaeologists like myself. My eyelids, girlfriends, peru, i toyed with internet right frame for is like being clever icebreaker. Joke referring to make you got in a date one day.
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Our model, which art in nowhere. Guessing be thy name. Thy assumptions come, Thy will be done in future as it was in the past. Give us this day our premium rates, and forgive us our lousy estimates, as we forgive those who supply us with crappy data. Lead us not into insolvencies, and deliver us from auditors. For thine is the NAME?
I asked what he was doing, and he replied: “I’ve got to eat it now, it goes past it’s sell-by-date in five minutes!”. Says it all really. Engineers – we can build bridges,.
Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake, the media will treat it like it’s a big deal or something. Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain.
If that approach is not sufficient to halt a project, then the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense: “It’s technically possible but it will cost too much. That’s why it’s a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can’t handle the truth. Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work.
They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below. This is not because of cheapness or mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a problem in optimization, that is, “How can I escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount of cash?
37 Hilarious Jokes Only For Engineers
Engineer jokes to tickle and titillate, amuse and exhilarate, laugh till you hyperventilate, till your blues evaporate, and your mood rejuvenate. Without engineers there would be a lot less very funny jokes on our plate. Three guys – an engineer, a doctor, and a painter – were debating the benefits of having a wife or a mistress.
The doctor pointed out that intimacy with his beloved wife was a great stress reliever, and gave him a lifetime of love to look forward to.
Mechanical engineer Austin and Laura who works in sales and date Austin, Laura and a pet parrot chatted, drank and shared dad jokes.
Youngest Daughter is a mechanical engineering major. FYI, not a whole lot of girls in that major. It just so happens that three of them including my daughter are all living together this year, thus cornering the market on 5th year female mechanical engineering majors all in one apartment! Youngest posted something she found on a blog site called Pocket Protector and Heels. Hope you find these amusing like I did. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
Woman in the Middle Because I am always in the middle of something! Home About the Woman in the Middle. Reasons to Date my Daughter and other girls like her Woman in the Middle November 24, Youngest Daughter is a mechanical engineering major. Years of working with socially inept people makes her forgiving of your social faux pas. Your bad self can probably still get away with sandals and socks on occasion.
No more eyes glazing over, she understands what you did and can ask you questions to show she was actually listening. She knows how to be one of the guys. She can apply a deep understanding of physics, biology, and chemistry to your relationship.
View Full Version : Engineer jokes. The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table. Also a cute video with cats.
most engineer jokes are either how stupid they can be or how do they maintenance form last week and wrote the wrong date (15th instead of.
Join Engineers Looking For Stuff. Sign Up Sign In. Fun Stuff. Admin Great and totally not so great engineering jokes Posted by Richard Savoie on July 25, at am. Feel free to add your own! Birth control What do engineers use for birth control?
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An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. You only have six months to live. An engineer, an architect and an actuary are stranded on a desert island with only one can of baked beans and no can opener. The engineer suggests lighting a fire to heat up the can so that the contents will expand and force the can to open.
The architect says the contents would scatter all over the place, so he suggests building a structure around the fire to catch the contents. An accountant, a lawyer, and an actuary are walking down the street when they come upon a man who has just accidently dropped a number of coins out of his pocket onto the sidewalk.
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